Some day we all feel a bit adrift in this modern world. No doubt, other generations have experienced that as well, but the world right now seems to be moving at such a frantic pace, that it seems rather overwhelming trying to keep up. No matter YOUR generation, this sense of being overwhelmed appears to be part of everyday life. Do you ever feel like you just want to go home?
I know that "home" is not an especially positive memory for some of us. Even so, it is a common experience of longing to "go home" where one feels safe, seen, loved, and accepted. Perhaps especially for those of us who did not experience this kind of "home" as a child. Yearning for a place that feels like "home" is a universal longing, across all generations and cultures.
In the English language we often speak of being "homesick" or longing for the sense of safety and security. Even when we are actually, physically, "at home" (wherever that might be). I've also heard in popular culture the notion that a particular person or relationship feels like "home," wherever you might be geographically. "You are my home" is a refrain that is heard in our world, particularly in romanticized stories or movies. But it is real!
"Hiraeth" is a Welsh word that simply translated to "longing," but its meaning is often said to run a little deeper. Some describe it as a sense of loss over a connection to a place where you no longer are - or perhaps can never return to, as you long for a more specific time in a place."
So if the notion of wanting to "go home" is such a common emotion, it might be interesting to think about what that might look like, just in case you want to find your way home. This journey will probably be rather emotional, especially for those of us who are a long way from our first "home." And even if you can actually "go back" to that particular place in person, I promise you that it will never be the same!
That old, broken down oak tree where you used to play hide-and-seek behind the dilapidated barn is actually no long there. It has long since fallen completely down into the ditch where you used to hide, and the rotting stump and a few branches are all that remain. I know, because I saw it. That weeping willow tree where you used to play with your dolls and teddy bears in the cool shade on a hot summer day . . . someone cut it down years ago because it was a nuisance. But for you it was a safe place where you could pretend to be whatever you wanted to be.
One of my favorite memories is playing inside a huge (to me it was "huge"!) stand of lilac bushes. It was cool and dark on a hot summer day, and it was so big that we could make pretend houses and rooms where our we played make-believe all day long. And when it was time to go inside for lunch or supper, we were so tired we could barely keep our eyes open. But it was so much fun!
Maybe your memories are different. If you grew up in a city, then the corner bakery or the local shops where you would go for candy or pop before running over to the neighborhood school playground with your friends. Or the third floor apartment with the noise, the clutter, the smells, the busy neighbors coming and going - whatever your memories are, they hold you like a gentle (or maybe not so gentle!) caress of longing for a time and place that will never be again.
So if you have ever felt a longing to "go home," here are a few ideas to help you on your journey to finding your way home:
* Journaling is a great way to connect with your longing for "home." Write down your memories, places and people, even pets that were part of your "home," and even add sketches or photos of that place in your heart.
* Right where you are, right now, consider how you might bring some of that sense of "home" into your surroundings today. For me, that includes creating small corners where I can include things that I remember from my first "home." Coffee cups on pegs on the kitchen wall, canisters for flour and sugar on the kitchen counter, and some of my favorite books stacked on a shelf. Little things can help you find your way home, wherever you are today.
* Even if your current living situation is less than ideal, you can make it your "home" with tiny, baby steps, even if you don't have much money. If you are living in a small apartment, or even a hotel room, you can find little things that make your surroundings feel "homey" at your local thrift store.
* A picture frame with a photo you cherish; a throw pillow in your favorite color; a blanket or even a small table cloth on a box in the corner; a cracked tea cup filled with dirt and a small plant from the yard outside - simple, inexpensive, but these seemingly insignificant things can go a long way toward giving you a sense that you are making progress on your journey as you are finding your way home.
* No matter how busy or chaotic your life feels right now, just taking these little baby steps to create your own "home" - right here and right now - will bring moments of peace, calm, and gentle reminders that "home" is wherever you are, with your cherished memories, and a recognition that "home" will always be in your heart.
We can't go "home" to that physical, geographical location (because even if you do get there, it will all be different than you remember), so it is up to you to create "home" for yourself and your loved ones. Don't let anyone stop you!
PS I have no idea if anyone even reads blogs anymore . . . but I decided it really doesn't matter if anyone finds my blog or reads my posts, because this is my way of finding my way home. So if you have read this far, bravo! You are my hero! Remember, your voice is a treasure, even if no one hears it, so keep speaking and telling your story. It's time. <3
Nina
